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Fuck you

So I don’t really know how this tublr thing works I have been spelling it tumbler for fucks sake, but I do know that it’s a way that people can share creative things and support people they like. And recently I have learned that it’s also a place where people can anonymously be critical and cowardly by suggesting that people are not good enough based simply on how they portray themselves on the internet. I want to tell you about some one dear to my heart. She is my room mate. Her name is Tesla. She is funny to the point of making me vomit. Kind to people who don’t deserve it. Creative in ways that I can’t begin to fathom. And honest in a way that is both rare and admirable. The way she doesn’t apologize for who she is, is one of the first reasons I wanted her to be my friend. She is one of the loveliest people I have ever met, and more importantly she is my best friend. And if you have a fucking problem with her on tumblr, then you have a fucking problem with me one tumblr and in real life. And Tesla has an army of people who love her for exactly who she is, and I happen to be one of the leaders, and I am itching to start a war. Have you seen game of thrones??? Call her motha fukin Khaleesi. Get off Tumblr and stop being mean. Try getting to know Tesla instead of assuming you know her. 

Sometimes children can make you feel better when you didn’t even realize you were feeling sad. John is coming today and I am excited, for him to play with Alyja and get loved on by a small child. His Aunt died Tuesday, the Aunt we visited last weekend who was totally fine and happy and sweet and told me to read Ernest Hemingway and that I was lovely and then two days later she was gone. I cried. For Bonnie, for John who loved her as a mother, and for not reading Hemingway like she said. John  has been away at work for 2 weeks, and hasn’t been able to cry. I don’t know what it is about children that is so comforting. Maybe it’s because they enjoy life so thoroughly, and are honest. That they give love to strangers and forgive easily. That they are dependent on you and want you to just be okay. 

Alyja just patted me on the head and said “All better?” 

Now we’re being all fakin cute. 
NAPS ARE MIRACLE POTIONS. IT’S LITERALLY WIZARDRY 

Now we’re being all fakin cute. 

NAPS ARE MIRACLE POTIONS. IT’S LITERALLY WIZARDRY 

Sometimes your niece is throwing super tantrums while throwing things and hitting you and you’re just too damn hung over to fucking deal, and you’ve only slept 2 hours so instead of jumping off of a building you stick her in front of sesame street and get to live another day. 
Alyja on the morning after your 21st I am going to come in your room with a fucking gong. 

Sometimes your niece is throwing super tantrums while throwing things and hitting you and you’re just too damn hung over to fucking deal, and you’ve only slept 2 hours so instead of jumping off of a building you stick her in front of sesame street and get to live another day. 

Alyja on the morning after your 21st I am going to come in your room with a fucking gong. 

Teach child how to bring slippers, saves time, and fun game called “MMEUDHADSRMMPHRPH”. Don’t tell my sister. 

Teach child how to bring slippers, saves time, and fun game called “MMEUDHADSRMMPHRPH”. Don’t tell my sister. 

LIE

JUST FAKIN KIDDING WATER ‘ERE WHERE!!!!!!!!! I LIED!

Trick to getting a 2 year old to drink 2 full cups of water, “TEA TIME”.  My sister asked me to move into her house, instead of getting my own apartment in D.C. so I could watch my niece in the day time before going to my rehearsals/ job. I am Tina The Roommate and this is my newest room mate: meet my 2 year old niece Alyja. Watch and learn as I show you how to raise a child, HAHHAHAHAH GOD HELP ME. 

Trick to getting a 2 year old to drink 2 full cups of water, “TEA TIME”.  My sister asked me to move into her house, instead of getting my own apartment in D.C. so I could watch my niece in the day time before going to my rehearsals/ job. I am Tina The Roommate and this is my newest room mate: meet my 2 year old niece Alyja. Watch and learn as I show you how to raise a child, HAHHAHAHAH GOD HELP ME. 

ohno-polio:

Tip for modern adulterers: If you’re planning to cheat on your wife of 10 years by awkwardly hitting on the model seated next to you on your flight out of Los Angeles, make sure she isn’t live-tweeting the entire miserable experience to her 13,000 followers;

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